This is what my life has been reduced to. I'm either the next fuckin' Buddha or just all sorts of fucked up.
Said to a dear friend of mine in conversation about how much we all change as we grow older.
Posts
"I don't like it!!" .....NO!!!!" ...... "YOU'LL GET ADDICTED TO IT - It's like YOUR EYES ARE BREATHING!!!......"
Me trying to convince someone to to try Rohto cool eye drops for the first time. It was hilarious.
The hydraulics on my chair keep failing so that they make this pshhhh sound as I slowly sink. Defeated.
Me. And before you ask, I've LOST weight. The chair is just old. We're going to TRULY believe that, right? Right?
"I'm not what I think I am, I'm not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am." - Cooley
"I'm not what I think I am, I'm not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am." - Cooley
I mean can I get arrested for this?!?!
When a friend maxed out their parent's credit card, spending $3,000 in three days, including a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers for him.
Iced Tea in a Beer Can - He, now nearing 50, did the opposite of what he would have done when he was a teenager.
I just watched the man I love, the father to our three beautiful children; a man who, when I first met him, would only use bottled water in his coffee pot, pour Crystal Lite iced tea into his empty beer can. Something went wrong somewhere for us. Apparently.
Tuna salad is a VERY personal thing!!!
Everyone's opinion. Would you trust your best friend's cousin to make your tuna salad sandwich?
Why is Ozzy Osbourne in the Eagles???
After searching for a picture of the band, The Eagles, in a standing position, this one picture popped up and I'm staring at all of the guy's feet - because one guy is supposed to have HUGE HUGE feet...and then I realize that omg, this isn't even the REAL Eagles - it's a tribute band. Dave was thinking the exact thing at the exact time. LOL
Mmmm...love me a good hipped roof.
I literally thought this as I was browsing through architectural terms for different types of rooms.
OMG KAYLA LOST HER WATER BOTTLE IN THE MALL (said in disbelief with a tinge of confusion, as if asking "but how could that even BE a thing???")
My 15 year old son moments after his phone beeped.
Like "OMG YOU TOOK A NAP ON A GORGEOUS FUCKING SATURDAY YOU FUCKING IDIOT!?!?!?!????!?!?!"
Nobody I would ever want to know intimitately, or even casually, would EVER think to say those words.
Learn MORE About Mailing Day Old Poultry!
Why is this a "learn more" situation? http://pe.usps.com/text/pub52/pub52c5_008.htm#ep184002
Science is not there for you to believe in. Science is there for you to understand.
Natasha Lagerro Honeymoon Standup Special - Netflix, C01E01
Articulating things well is actually emotionally exhausting so I decided to get everything out in a non-linear stream of consciousness for pragmatic reasons.
P.S. I am capable of writing very well but I threw caution to the wind with this post because I'm a bit manic right now. Also, articulating things well is actually emotionally exhausting so I decided to get everything out in a non-linear stream of consciousness for pragmatic reasons. Gotta keep the source anonymous. Sorry.
The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it.
The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it. — Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus