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Showing posts from February, 2018

Okay. That's where I fucked up. It's NETFLIX that never has shitty originals; NOT Amazon. 2 hours of my life I won't get back.

After watching "Landline" tonight.

Oh shit!!! {what???} I thought I saw a cockroach, but it was just my reflection in a Nordstrom box.

This happened.

Using your sister's art as a personal Rorschach test. That high.

See? Tesla's just an AI Horse. It just surpassed actually replacing the horse.

He says.... For the first time since leaving the horse people can safely look away from the road. Remember in cowboy movies how they would look at people to their side and "nod" as they as they "drove past" on their horse.  So now you can look at that fucking thing your wife is pointing at asking if you can see it when clearly you CANNOT because you tell her this EVERY FUCKING TIME.

We need a damn baby gate to block off the kitchen so I don't go in after 7!

One of my sons.

There is no reason why the baby is a dog

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"Oh! There's that Dollar Store we wanted to go to! ....... Nevermind. It looks cheap."

Coco Peru

Tablerones

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Super really smart, she's like into atoms and all that.

He's not good enough of a friend to be registered.

A teenager updating his parent's "Friend Inventory" (or Friendventory.)

"Nah nah nah nah nah!!!! Don't TRIM the top off of these beer glasses!! These are going to America!"

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Dave

These things happened to one person. Could you, too, act completely normal.

"Swiss scientists find that..." You know it's going to be something really fucked up.

"Swiss scientists find that..." You know it's going to be something really fucked up. -Me scrolling through the news.

I have a dream....that one day...we will have a clean house we can walk through...

My son, not even in a conversation LOL

What do people in other nations put in the butter area of their refrigerator? (If they somehow own a US standard fridge.)

What do people in other nations put in the butter area of their refrigerator? (If they somehow owned a US standard fridge.) I plan on posting this question to reddit, but it's down for maintenance right now.  So I put it here in case I forget that I was going to do that. 

Minnows and Other Animals that Do Not Belong Up Your Butt: a Field Guide

From  Quora user Noah Riggins

I'm vlogging in space, out past the moon.

Dave misheard me.

I really like them dark so you can see me better.

https://youtu.be/oPKKE8fBgPw?t=2m9s

How many billions of dollars has Walmart made simply due to men forgetting what they were supposed to get so they grab ALL the things?

If you sent a picture of your pets to 6 of your friends and acquaintances at 3AM, you're high.

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That job will always be referred to as "Whatever the fuck THAT was."

 Seen by Dave at 12:12am

It's that thing where you say to yourself "Damn, my face is hot!" but realize that now it's because of menopause.

Self reflection

No, the soy milk IS my homework for microbiology! We're going to see what grows on it.

Said with attitude. Good kid. Great kid, Actually

Our kids, probably every mother's child has no idea the hell we go through when we can't see, touch, or smell our children

In conversation.

Why is Paypal the only place online and in the real world where you can so easily send money to others?

I can't think of another place that would give you a debit card to go along with your account, either.  If I'm utterly misinformed I'd be relieved to know.